Life is a Transition

Just for fun

2009-07-18T17:55:00.000-07:00

Not a good sign

2009-07-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

I recently visited a ladies room, and this sign was inside the bathroom door. I took a picture with my phone in case I couldn't remember 2180 (area code? any other numbers?) for security.

Local cultural observation #3: There's plenty of time

2009-07-12T17:45:00.000-07:00

There's plenty of time, always. The first 3 major events we attended, we arrived embarrassingly early. Hours too early.

Our (old) thought process: Everyone will be trying to park and taking all the good parking. Everyone will be getting all the good seats. Everyone will be crowding up the place. If we want any good seating or parking, especially at free events, we should get there early, like the time the gates open, before everyone else.

Flaws in our thinking: There is no "everyone." First, because there are so many free or $5 events, there is no rush to any particular free event. Second, there are not that many people in Louisville. Unlike Chicago, a small percentage of the population is actually not that many people. Third, no one else around here is in any hurry. They are taking their time going home, meeting up with whomever, getting in the car, getting there. There is plenty of time.

New (improved) thought process: Whatever time we are planning to get there is probably 2 hours too early. Take our time. Lolly gag. Don't bother loading the car early.

Exception: The Derby and Thunder over Louisville are reportedly like Chicago events, old rules apply.

Local cultural observation #2: Driving

2009-07-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

Driving is always fun to observe.

1. My husband says "The traffic reporters on the news are stealing a paycheck" reporting 2 small accidents a day. It's true. They will spend 6 whole minutes discussing a 3 block back-up.

2. When you live in a city with true, real, actually bad traffic, no other traffic is bad. In Louisville, "bad traffic" means a drive that's usually 10 minutes with no other cars on the road may be 15 minutes and people are driving the speed limit. Wow, that's so bad. It's all relative (which you already knew), but we have to keep our comments on how "bad" the traffic is here to ourselves. We laugh inside at what locals think is bad traffic.

3. Passing is out, tailgating is in. That's right. All the cool drivers will ride your tail instead of changing to either of the 2 lanes. All the kids are doing it.

4. Park your car anywhere. For example, if there is an event downtown, it's easier for the cops to just let everyone leave 4 hours later, than to attempt to enforce parking rules. This means cars will not only park in parking spaces, but all the driving lanes in-between, are also acceptable for parking during the climax of a big event (see "there's plenty of time" observation coming later).

5. You can get most places in Louisville in 15 minutes, from anywhere. You can get EVERYWHERE in 30 minutes. This is amazing since you couldn't get anywhere in Chicago or Dallas in less than an hour.

Local cultural observation #1

2009-07-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

When I move to new places, I spend the first year intently discovering and identifying cultural tendencies and nuances (thank you Dr. Gossett at UNT). I have been living in Louisville, KY since March, 2009. It's about time to put some things in writing. And yes, I will be comparing my observations to other places I have lived, that's just how it works.

Observations:

"You're Fine" can mean "okay", "no big deal", and "sure", especially when used as a response to a mild confrontation. A conversation may go like this,

Boss: "Hi, I noticed you were late to work today. I know it was only a few minutes, but I will need you to be here at the start time from now on. Okay?"

Employee: "You're fine."

This really bothered me, at first. I would hear other people say it to each other, and it struck me as "I hear what your are saying, and I'm telling you it's okay that you made the mistake of pointing this out. I forgive you." That was the yankee in me being offended by such a comment. However, I had to reach inside to the southern roots in me, and realized it is very similar to "bless your heart" in it's backhanded and mega-polite way of saying something without any actual malicious intent.

What?

2009-06-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

So, I'm driving town the road, happily looking down and texting on my phone, and I look up to see THIS:

Is this your hair net?

2009-06-23T18:25:00.000-07:00

Spotted in a regular parking lot near the bumper of a car:

Marshmellow research

2009-06-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

The Waldos completed some very important research recently:

To what extend are the Swirl Marshmallows better than regular?

First Test: eating raw. The conclusion: Carmel Vanilla marshmallows are better than regular marshmallows when eaten straight from the back.

Second Test: roasted over an open flame. Conclusion: both marshmallows taste the same when roasted over a fire.

Your Welcome.

Official Food, Inc. Movie Site - Hungry For Change? - Sign the Petition

2009-06-20T10:08:00.001-07:00

Check out the following site: films, petitions...WARNING: This will influence the way you think about food and where it comes from.

Official Food, Inc. Movie Site - Hungry For Change? - Sign the Petition

Shared via AddThis

Sweet ride

2009-06-18T18:21:00.000-07:00

Spotted at a regular grocery store on a regular day

Lists I made when I moved.

2009-06-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

I make lists. Especially when I'm stressed or overwhelmed. So, for fun, I made a list of all the lists I made related to our move:

Grocery list for helpers food

Things to pack for moving week

Steps, in order, of 2 week moving plan

People helping us move

Things to leave behind for James

Things staying behind forever

Stuff we need to be able to access immediately upon arrival at new place

Utilities to turn on

Address change list

Things to do before the move

Things to take back to James after the move

Donations to Good will

Sell on Craig's list

Give away to friends

What's wrong?

2009-06-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

Can you figure out what's wrong with this picture (and no, a ghost is not going to jump out and screem at you while you are staring)?

You might live in a rental property if you think things like:

2009-06-09T17:43:00.000-07:00

"We really don't need a garbage disposal or dishwasher, anyway."

"This old bathroom is actually charming."

"It's like summer camp!"

"It's like being on a mission trip!"

"An AC Window unit is our first investment in the house we'll buy later."

"Bookshelves make a good pantry."

Fancy bag

2009-06-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

Backpack + Laptop bag + satchel = Backtop satchel

You might have an iPhone if...

2009-06-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

You're grocery shopping and can't find where they keep the tortillas. Instinctively, you reach for your iPhone to find it on one of the several gps or mapping apps. (I really did this)

You'd rather live without cable than cancel your iPhone data plan.

You stop dieing your hair to pay for the iPhone data plan.

iPhone commercials are more interesting than whatever show you were just watching.

You see people with iPhones and exchange favorite app and tip info.

Your computer misses you.

You've caught yourself on the the web on your iPhone waiting for another web page to load on your computer.

You judge a rental property by the 3G signal.

You cringe when switching to airplane mode.

Everything's better in a tube

2009-06-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

That's right. Cream corn in a tube.

Cross-country moving tips

2009-05-28T17:35:00.000-07:00

Hire some manual labor on at least one end of the move, it will save your back for the other end and be the best $150 spent on the move. Hire them at U-haul.com and make sure to read the reviews before choosing a company.

Sell as much on craig's list.com beforehand as possible.

Donate as much to goodwill beforehand as possible. Keep a log of these items, they are tax deductible.

Keep a file of all moving costs (mileage, hotel, boxes, deposits). Many of these are tax deductible, especially if you're moving for a job transfer.

Moving supply places (like storage places or U-haul) sell big rolls of green plastic wrap stuff. Get it! We used it to wrap furniture, secure rakes and shovel together, and keep drawers and door closed on furniture.

If possible, schedule your hook-ups (like cable) for move-in day when you are already there all day.

Do you have any tips?

Great for camping...

2009-05-25T18:16:00.000-07:00

So much is wrong with these pictures:

You don't need quiet times when you're sleeping on a futon.

2009-05-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, first, I mean the title as more of a joke, but let me explain.

I set out to learn from this: my sister-in-law and her husband were gracious enough to agree to let me live with them indefinitely. The LEAST I could do was try to be a great house guest and take it as a character building experience (because I already knew I was selfish and could use some character building).

I learned many things when I was living with them for 10 weeks. While some are more serious than others, I'd like to pass them on to you as a sort of community service/book report to show I learned something:

2 Bedroom/2 bath apartments are smaller than they sound when 1 married couple and 1 other married adult live there.
Farts are always funny.
Even when your hosts say you shouldn't do chores, it's a good measure to do so anyway. See next lesson.
I learned just how selfish I was, deep inside. I want to clean when I want, watch my t.v. shows, drink my fancy coffee. Thankfully, the good Lord gave me enough sense to be a good house guest. But, my spirit had to fight my flesh sometimes to keep it quiet.
Books are your friend. Especially when you're missing your spouse, sitting though other people's t.v. shows, or you are bored cause everyone else has gone to bed.
I don't need all that stuff. I lived without soo much for 10 weeks: my other toiletries (you know, the stockpile), DVDs, old shoes, kitchen gadgets, office supplies, decorations, or a dresser. And I was fine. Just fine.
Things I missed: slippers, candles, a nightstand, and my "gift box" for spontaneous gifting.
Group grocery shopping with alternating weeks to pay keeps everyone honest and maintains the sanctity of the community kitchen.
I want a wii.
Internet and iPhone are non-negotiable as a nomad.
Extra-curricular activities (like running) keep you out of their hair before you get in their hair.
It is impossible to drive them nuts by calling to let them know when you are heading home. When in doubt, call.
Ask what can go in the dishwasher and if you should turn off the DVR at night. oops.
Don't set up your hosts camping chair and then leave it outside for 3 rainy nights...oops again.

In conclusion, my hosts were great. They never hinted that it was time for me to go, had compassion for me living apart from my spouse temporarily, and included me in activities and meals. One of the biggest perks of this experience is that the 3 of us reached a whole new comfort level I didn't think we'd have for years.

Today, however, both couples are still happy to have their own places to themselves, and drink their own coffee.

I peed my pants

2009-05-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

I told you I have friends from Craig's List that I run with, right? Very early in our running meet ups, I peed my pants. This is how it all went down...

First, you should know that 3 of them are much faster than me, but are good sports and make me finish. I love that part. Early in our running, they were kicking my butt with an 11 minute mile (2.5 of them, actually), and we sprinted up a hill for the last tenth mile. Note: I needed to go to the ladies room since mile 1.

So, here we all are, the competitive nature in me keeping me going, and I realize while I'm sprinting that I must pee, NOW. I start walking about 30 feet before everyone else with the claim "I'm done, we went the 2. 5 miles, you suckers keep running if you want..." It was all a ploy.

I begin to panic. Which is worse? Your very new friends you met on the Internet seeing you let out a big pee in your pants, or squatting in a very nice neighborhood on a stranger's lawn and your very new friends possibly seeing your who-ha? I couldn't decide. Tears began to well up as I froze, standing, twisting my legs around each other, hand in my crotch holding in the pee. As I looked up to heaven, clenching EVERY muscle in my already exhausted body, a miracle happened: Only a little pee came out. But pee, none the less. I said my goodbyes quickly and headed home to shower/change and wash my pee pants.

So, I thank God for that little miracle when I peed my pants by no one could see. I still have my new friends, and they agree that this 3rd option was the way to go.

New craigs list friends

2009-05-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

I did it. I posted a personals add on Craig's List for running partners. This is what it said,

I'm looking someone to run with at least once a week (week nights prefered).
Currently, my pace is a 12 min mile, and will get faster training for the
October half marathon. 29 year old female looking for female running partners or
a group.

2 weeks, and lot of emails, phone calls, and facebooking later, and I have 4 solid, friendly, nice, and enjoyable women to run with. They are smart, normal, and best of all, a totally random group. We don't work together, go to school or church together, just random people who use craiglist.

I love it. So far, so good. We are on a rotation running the same day every week, and we rotate who picks the location. The other days of the week, anyone just calls who ever to run together. 2 weeks in, and it's working great. I'm glad I took the risk.

Running Again

2009-05-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

I've been picking up running, again, for about 2 months, now. It's still a battle. I want to run. I want to be in shape. I want to go run 3 miles and not try to quit before I finish. The temptation to walk crosses my mind every few minutes. I want to get faster. I want to run farther. I want to be runner. My body doesn't agree.

Why do I fight the battle each and every time, and go, and run, and want to die every time? Good question. I ask myself that everytime my heart pounds so heart I think my heads gonna explode.

For now, the motivation of turning 30 in September, a half marathon in October, and knowing I can run keeps me going. I love the feeling of breaking into the start of the run, when it's cool out, and your feet and legs aren't warmed up yet. They are starting to get stretched out and warmed up, and you push to get them there. Then, once your muscles are warm, your heart and lungs start to challenge you to slow down, but you push through it. Then, comes the part where you settle in, and think that maybe you could do this forever, at this pace, and just run across the world.

Then I hit the 2.5 mile mark and collapse. For now, this is my distance. Each week gets a little faster or further, or both. Just when I think I'm crazy, and I should quit, I have another good run, and I get the running high, and can't wait for next time.

Casinos

2009-05-07T16:07:00.000-07:00

In the last year, I stayed in a Casino for 3 nights on a business trip. And I realized I don't like them. In fact, I hate them. Let me count the ways:

1. Our room was all zebra print and dark purple with plenty of teak.
2. High cheese factor with padded walls everywhere, mirrored ceilings, staff members in ridiculous neon uniforms.
3. I got slammed in the elevator doors. That's right. The first night, I'm going for the elevator, the doors are starting to close. I implemented a strategy that has always worked for me: I threw my body between the closing doors expecting them to bounce open. Instead, they slammed on my shoulder, cut my other arm, and I had a baseball size bruise on the other arm to show for it.
4. Neon lights do not a good morning make. The first morning, I went down to the cafe', bleary eyed, and ready for my early morning caffeine. I was not prepared, however, to be greeted by the same endless neon lights, mirrors, fuscia velvet upholstery, bars open, and slot machines ringing just like the night before. It was a rude way to wake up.

I hear new casinos are not like this. I have my doubts.

Confessions of a Bride, Part IV

2009-05-05T16:04:00.000-07:00

Wedding planning brings out ALL previous family issues, baggage, your fears, and any possible and impossible drama.

I have great, understanding parents. Three of whom said to me, early in engagement,"No, you should plan exactly the kind of wedding you both want." Even my very caring, patient, parents and I had our rough moments in the planning process.

Tip for future brides: No matter how simple, low-key, or cooperative you are, drama will find you! It doesn't matter how little or much your parents contribute, how much your friends help out, how considerate you are to out of town guests, how low stress you try to keep it, how little your budget is, or how much you communicate why you both chose the kind of wedding you did. Conflict will come anyway.

The truth of the matter is that anyone who cares about you will have an opinion, won't be afraid to share it, or may get their feelings hurt. Get over it. The sooner you learn to, politely but confidently say,"Thank you for sharing that idea. We have decided, however, that what both of us want most is x." The better.

Just a friendly tip :)

Confessions of a Bride, Part III

2009-05-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

At one point, I started wondering what would happen with my friends. How do I tell my fellow, career-oriented, independent, traveling girlfriends that I truly desire to "settle down"?

Other friends that have married in the past have dropped of the face of the planet. With no explanation. Then, when a chance rendezvous occurs, the only talk is about coupons and laundry. There also seemed to be an air of a slower, more quiet life.

I didn't want to become this person. I was, however, aware that there must be something going on with marriage that required significantly more time than singleness. Time that was already hard to come by.

Regardless, I didn't want to loose my long time friends or for them to drop me because our lives grew apart. I still don't know the answer to this yet. I do know I have several good friends. I also know that simply work, money, schedules, home, family, etc keep a couple in constant communication and take more time.

On one hand, this is somewhat overly dramatic since several sets of married friends do stay in touch and open their lives to others. At the same time, as a couple, we will have the same amount of time, but twice the social contacts and opportunities. You do the math.

Confessions of a Bride, Part II

2009-05-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

First, I had one of my best friends ask, "I just need to know that you aren't simply giving up all your dreams just to get married." Her direct voice and loving candidness still ring in my ears.

She knows me well. We had spent hours over the previous years talking about my desire to live overseas or mentor younger women. She knew this new relationship would change things. What she didn't know was that I had been struggling with that same question myself for weeks.

I was afraid of being a pushover. Afraid of becoming one of "those girls" that give up everything for cooking and laundry. Not that those are without honor, but I was afraid, nonetheless.

I did not believe in the fairytale of marriage. Instead, I believed it must be one of the worst, scariest, most crippling situations to put yourself in. Especially because another person can so dramatically have an impact on so much of your life, including filing for divorce.

I was afraid I had been believing a lie. How could both single life and marriage life be good for me? Was I fooling myself while single, just to get by? Maybe marriage wouldn't be as fulfilling as my single life, regardless of who I married.

I am afraid of becoming boring, to my husband and to myself. I had so many adventures single: moving across the country, international missions, road trips, working in dorms, trips downtown, spontaneous travel, concerts, pranks, the list goes on...What if my husband didn't want to do these things? What if other, outside impacts made it more difficult for both of us to do these things? What if we never leave the house?

I was afraid of what others, who knew my dreams, would think or say. Or, that they would think badly of my fiance' for "keeping me from" those God-given dreams.

The truth is, my dreams were actually changing. My desires were changing. My old dreams still sounded like fun, but there were new, exciting ones forming.

Back in the saddle - err - sneaker...again.

2009-05-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

I used to run. Well, 2 years ago, I started running for the first time, got 3/4 of the way trained for a half marathon, and quit. For lots of reasons: my running partner left the country for 2 months and broke his leg upon return, I met James, I decided I liked James more than running.

This year, things have changed. I still like James more than running. But, I turn 30 this year, and I have an offensive attack: running. If I don't do that pesky half marathon the year I turn 30, when will I? And another thing, we're in the process of getting moved and settled in a new state/town/region. Trying new running routes is a great way to learn a new town and parks and neighborhoods where one might like to buy a home.

Goal: Louisville half marathon, October, 2009. 2ND goal: Kentucky Derby half marathon, April, 2010.

So far, so good. I'll keep you posted.

That word

2009-04-30T15:38:00.000-07:00

I need to say something: "I hate using the word, single."

It has, and still, brings all the other labels that come with that word. It's not even that...it's that this word is used as a definition of identity when it shouldn't be.

For me, when I was not married, or engaged, and this word was used to describe me, it hurt. I would think to myself that I am defined by so many more things. My relationship status did not define me. Yes, it resulted in specific impacts on my scheduling, etc...but it did not define me.

I hate using this word in my blogs. I cringe when I hear it in church referring to a group. I don't want to ask someone if they are. Please know that I use this in my blog as a contrast to describe the process of that part of my life changing and the overflowing impacts of that.

To those of you who have decided to define your identity by this word, we are different creatures, but I can respect that.

Confessions of a Bride, Part I

2009-04-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

Though my engagement was only 4 1/2 months, I was still rattled by the amount of change that happened leading up to marriage.

As a single woman, I think I was a very healthy version of independent. I took care of my own car maintenance, finances, moved across the country, actively involved in overseas missions, traveled, purchased my own small kitchen appliances (didn't wait to get married to do so), and proactively found my identity and value as a single woman.

This was difficult at times (single times). I remember hours long conversations with my best girlfriends about world missions, and where did we fit in as single, confident, Christian women? What was our role in the church? How do we explain to our hopeful relatives that we're actually HAPPY single? How do we admit to each other that we simultaneously desire to be married?

I liked being single. The independence, freedom, opportunity, and open future did me well. So, what happens to an independent, saucy, and God-fearing single woman when she gets engaged? Answer: all kinds of things she didn't expect.

Marriage Quotes

2009-04-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

When we were engaged, we received a heep of quotes, advice, and warnings about marriage from those around us. Some of the highlights. Please comment and add your own...

"Marriage is like a loafer. You just know when it fits." Director at my work.

"The problem most people have in marriage is that they give 110% while dating. Then, they only give 10% after they are married. Both of you have to give 100% every day in marriage to make it work." My dad

"Spouse: the person that is there for you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you had remained single." - my former boss

I'm back.

2009-04-26T15:42:00.000-07:00

After very serious prayer, and thought, and public opinion polls, I'm blogging again. First, you'll see some blogs I wrote about a year and a half ago when I was preparing to get married. Also, because I read all my old blogs (link on the right), and I thought "You know, I'm pretty funny, I should start writing again." ...and queue crush to my ego that will soon follow...

Living without cable

2006-05-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Some of you know we recently moved across the country and will be trying to sell our old house for a while. So, we are cutting costs in new and interesting ways. First: no cable. That's right. No DVR. No pause. Not even local channels.

So far, the plan is to read, and watch any shows on the Internet: www.hulu.com will be our golden ticket.

We'll let you know how it goes. Also, feel free to suggest good reading in the comments section. We'll both need it. www.half.com and www.paperbackswap.com will help us a lot here, along with our local library system.

I know...some of you out there are laughing because you already live without cable. But for us...this is a big, big, big step, and we hope that cutting the cord will come with many other benefits of a simpler, more organic life.

Update: We ended up getting 10 free local cable channels with out Internet at no extra charge. Hurray!